a deviation about a deviation

With all that has been happening for us over the past few weeks, I feel that my thoughts and feelings have been somewhat heavy. I have also, as marlowe commented, been experiencing much greater loss at the end of our relationship with Lyra than I expected.

I have however found the silver lining of polyamourous break - ups; consolation sex with someone who loves you and who knows your body intimately.

Needing to lose ourselves a bit, we took the advice of some fabulous friends and got into some role play.

I have always been a bit twitchy about role play as I have always been a bit squeamish about plotting and planning sex and play (probably back to my inherent britishness again). However, Marlowe and I sat down in a fit of over enthuasiasm and created a player character list of 10 scenarios, complete with costumes and names.

Obviously given that we have to do dull things like work, we have not quite made it through all of our scenarios - particularly as we have got stuck on a couple which have been great fun to explore.

Last week, I let C out of the box. A young girl who has decided to abandon her plan to marry well for the somewhat easier life of getting laid well and for money, C is setting up in business catering for a suitable sort of gentleman. Getting business up and running is a challenge, so she thought a website with decent photographs would help - enter from stage left J, a photographer who is reknowned for getting the best from his models. C has very little money, so an agreement with J that she would pay him in kind suited her just fine.

This seemed quite a simple scenario but it was much hotter and much dirtier than either of us envisaged. I am very jumpy about photographs normally as, being less than svelte, I tend to spend my whole time in front of a camera trying to suck in my tummy and hide multiple chins. However, in the guise of C, I revelled in the camera - posing for explicit and exposing photos with an enthusiasm that surprised me (and surprised Marlowe even more). We had an agenda of avoiding heavy spanking / BDSM as we were heading out to a spanking party the next night so that forced us to get in some ways more creative and interesting in our play.

Three hours later (how do you lose entire evenings to sex and play????) J and C left and Lily and Marlowe re-entered the world feeling lighter and more fun than they had in a while. We also felt reconnected with ourselves and our sex life, as well as feeling kinky in a broad sense of the term.

It also taught me something which has actually made me feel really enthusiastic about engaging in poly relationships in the future; this experience has made mine and Marlowe's relationship and attraction for one and another considerably stronger.

Oh, and before you ask the photos were all deleted rapidly. C might have kept them but Lily wasn't taking the chance that she might have had to look at them...