A Different Path

Everything is a bit different to the last time I posted, we're no longer in a partnership and I've had very little communication with Marlowe or Lily over the summer. Not out of any hard feelings or for any particular reason but I've been away for the best part of 6 weeks and hardly spoken to anyone. I'm rubbish at staying in touch, I never know what to say.

I wanted to take this chance to reflect on our relationship though. At the time when everything started, it felt so natural and so flowing that the intimacy was amazing. I had so much that I wanted to explore and I'd found the most amazing couple in the most comfortable relationship to explore with. I couldn't have asked for better. Marlowe is a very dominant man with enough experience to make me feel fearful but safe at the same time and Lily is so wonderfully empathic that she really knew how to progress and how to comfort me through my first experiences.

I think the problem came outside of the intimate side of the relationship. I can honestly say that I loved both Marlowe and Lily but at the same time I had a keen awareness that they had a much closer tie to each other than either could ever have with me. They make wonderful life partners and I was always worried about coming between them or feeling more for one than the other or upsetting the balance in any way.

I was always worried about Lily.. I could see the appeal for Marlowe but Lily has never been with a woman and the dynamics of the relationship were such that I could still be seen as the "other woman" intruding on her husband. I'm not sure whether she ever felt like that or whether it's just my mind putting thoughts in other people's heads but it was always a concern at the back of my mind. A woman can forgive sex but never love.

As for what happened to mark the end of the relationship (sorry Marlowe, I used the R word) well, nothing really between the three of us but something bloomed between me and an old friend. It made me realise that whilst I was happy in the relative freedom of the three-way relationship, eventually I would want someone all to myself and I think Marlowe and Lily deserve that too. I'm lucky enough now to say that my partner is still my best friend but I'm discovering a new side of him.. a kinky side that I never imagined could have existed (and now I know more of what I like and have a good idea of my limits!) As for Lily and Marlowe, I hope that we'll continue to stay friends and that they'll continue to act as wonderful role models to show what a loving, trusting and long-lasting (yes, and kinky!) relationship looks like. I don't know what the future holds for any of us but I'm hoping it'll be long, happy, kinky and with amazing friends around to show us the way when we get lost. I've missed my friends this summer.