Ladies and gentlemen – choose your masks!

I was almost tempted to write a third perspective on the scenario described by Emma Jane and Lily. As there are already two interesting accounts it felt like overkill, but there was an aspect that I found quite interesting. EJ later commented in conversation that she was surprised (pleasantly surprised I think and hope!) that I'd been able to put on such a cold and demeaning persona for the scene. This was interesting as I really enjoy roleplay and, as she had been able to communicate really clearly the experience and headspace she was exploring, I had taken some care to build a persona that fitted what she wanted out of the scene and then really enjoyed letting myself just inhabit that character and play out the scene.  


I'm quite a big fan of roleplaying. I've never been entirely convinced that roleplaying allows you to put on another personality but it certainly allows you to magnify and explore aspects of your own and shut other parts up into a small cupboard and lock them away for a while. Pretty much anyone interesting will have enough of a mess of contradictions in their make-up to give a huge field to be explored and I have certainly been able to inhabit radically different aspects of my personality and see the world from very different viewpoints.


Back in my teens I was rather more of a switch, (though by the time I got to 18, I was already quite predominantly dominant) and in bottoming you can absolutely lose yourself in a character. In fact, to do so can be an almost ecstatic pleasure.


Topping always adds a note of limitation to becoming a character. I've mentioned this before but it bears repeating that as a top you always have to leave a safe, rational part of you in control. Given that its easy to find persona's that are interesting but not, in any objective sense, safe then this means a degree of compromise. This is why I really enjoy scenarios where I'm clear of what the other peoples likes and wants are – if you can inhabit a persona that fits, then you can get closer to just living that role for a while, and that is a very interesting place to be.


I'd be interested on comment on this. After all, it means that I find it harder to answer the question “what are you into” and there are plenty of people who appear to view topping as about enjoying enforcing a certain set of behaviours on their bottoms/subs/whatever label you wish to use.


Don't get me wrong, I'm enough of a spanko that I need no excuse to enjoy beating someone's bottom. It may be uncomfortable to mention it, but whilst I very much enjoy giving pleasure when scening, there is that little dark shard in my soul that just enjoys the raw, atavistic urge toward power and inflicting pain. I suspect I share that awareness with most tops who have had the courage to look at what drives them! Lets be honest, pretty much anyone is physically capable of inflicting more pain than anyone can stand, so any sadistic urges have to be put into some sort of balance (well, either that or the criminal justice system!).


Personally, I don't find it difficult to channel that urge. It's weaker than the urge to look after and nurture partners and the competing drives meet a comfortable balance in topping kinky folks in a way that fits their needs – hence what I'm into varying a lot based on circumstance, “chemistry” and partner. That balance does need quite a lot of experience, care and so forth so while I always enjoy scening where my partner/s have enjoyed the experience, it is possible for that to feel a bit like the pleasure of facilitating anothers enjoyment.


Which is why I so enjoy roleplaying on the occasions that needs and boundaries are sufficiently clear that the with the right role I can pretty much just flow into it.


Can I give some examples?


Do I hear a cry of “No, we don't want to wallow in some filthy kink reminiscence!”?


Hmm, didn't think so.


OK, there are three occasions that immediately spring to mind as examples of very different roles that were really interesting to play (and that I'm prepared to share!). One of them was very recent and with some new play partners who I haven't yet asked how they feel about me blogging, so I'll drop that one (though I may come back to it – it was an absolutely delicious scene) and relate the others, both of which were a few months back.


Roleplay one – In an interesting subversion of roles Lily and I set up a roleplay where her character was a naughty schoolgirl who had been found by her housemaster to have cheated on a final exam. Yawn, sounds absolutely formulaic doesn't it? What made it interesting was setting the roles up a little unusually, with a rather bumbling and good natured housemaster who may have had some desires for putting a naughty girl over his knees but because of nervousness and a sense of honour had never used corporal punishment at all, meeting a rather corrupt schoolgirl that enjoyed kink, quite fancied getting some, and, when she found out that her cheating had been discovered, was absolutely sure she was going to need something good to break this teachers sense of honour and get him to cover up for her.


This was fascinating to play. I don't think I've ever played a character while topping that was as nervous as this one, but I was determined to let Belle (the schoolgirl) know that I had found out her disgraceful cheating and that I was going to have to tell the headmaster and exam board!


I think Lily really got into an interesting headspace on her part as she pretended bitter remorse, manipulated me into spanking her and then letting all control go as I caned and then fucked her, leaving her to gloat over her now complete control of the situation. It was really interesting to be in the headspace of quite a timid character who was cutting loose in an absolutely unrestrained way. Him cutting loose was still quite tame by some of our standards but it was a fascinating set of emotions to go through.


Different. Powerful. Interesting.


I don't think I'd want to play that character all that often but it was a very interesting experience.


Roleplay two – in a continuation of the ongoing saga of one of Lilys roleplaying characters, Charlotte, we had set up quite an intense scene to be played when Lily was in the right mood for it. The scene involved her character (who without giving you the extensive life history, had turned to becoming a kinky prostitute) being confronted by a local vice squad officer who during an investigation had found explicit photographs of Charlotte (which had come from an earlier scene we had played).


This was always going to be quite a dark scene, high on humiliation, coercion and punishment. I was quite clear what Lily was expecting and we left it to her to prompt this scene being used at a point that she was in the right mood to go somewhere deep and dark and relish the journey.


This one really wasn't going to work for her if it was a stern but nurturing character. This one was clearly going to require a character that was a real bastard. We clearly had some time to get ideas straight, so I let it percolate around my consciousness for a few days and what came out was a Policeman with a real old testament religious fervour to him. Someone who would be disgusted by what Charlotte had become, who would make the experience as embarrassing as possible and who would give her the option of taking punishment instead of prosecution because he would feel that physical punishment was “better for her”. Add a dash of frustrated perve so that he would guiltily enjoy the experience and I had my man. I then put him to one side until needed.


Several weeks later I got a text mid afternoon at work. “Message to DI King from ***** Police Station. We have intercepted a credit card transaction for Miss Charlotte Brigham as requested. She appears to be hiring a dungeon in the ***** area for the weekend. Let us know if you need back up if you are planning to make an arrest”.


To be honest my first response was actually confusion. It had been a couple of weeks and I was in work mode but after a few moments it all clicked into place and put a smile on my face. On my way home I had to pull off of the road for a few minutes, think over my character, let his history and world view flow over me, then set off again as DI King.


Knocking on the front door produced a rather sluttily dressed young lady who was surprised to find a stranger rather than her evening appointment on the doorstep. From there it just flowed beautifully. DI King was not going to go further than I knew Lily wanted to go so I just let that persona go fairly unfettered, just that little guardian in my head keeping an eye on things.


Making Charlotte view every picture, confirm that it was her and making her explain what she was doing was fascinating. Apparently, I had the light of religious zeal in my eyes and it was plain that I was looking on her as a deviant fallen woman. Making her comment on the photos of bondage and spanking.


Then the offer – arrest or ... other means of retribution. It's interesting that Lily reported this as a really intense pivotal moment for her, knowing that this Policeman was going to make her pay for her sins but equally aware of how much it would constrain her characters freedom if she did not.
 Then a very dark and intense scene, punishment, tears and … other things.
 Again, this isn't a head space that I'd want to inhabit all that often but a fascinating experience.


Again – Different. Powerful. Intense.


Maybe thats why I like roleplaying with interesting kink scening. In different ways it can throw you into fascinating and pleasurable experiences. I thoroughly recommend it!


Ladies and Gentlemen – please choose your masks, and feel free to change them as often as you like.