Saturday 2 October 2010

Who am I today?

Marlowe and I have been experimenting more with hypnosis. It appears I have gone from a sceptic to an ardent enthusiast!

Last night we went fetish clubbing with a group of friends. We decided to try out the hypnosis under more challenging situations so snuck off to a quiet corner and used a trance state to bring out Charlotte, the prostitute met in an earlier blog post.

To say I was sceptical that it would work was an understatement. I was in a loud and busy setting, with a range of people who would be addressing me as Lily, who wouldn't know what was going on, and who certainly wouldn't know how to react if they did. I am pleased to say I was well and truly wrong.

Marlowe talked Charlotte into taking over for a while as an escort hired to accompany him to the club. She stepped into my body and I genuinally took a back seat. It's hard to describe the sensation. I was still there but metaphorically sat back having a cup of tea whilst she interacted with the world. The best description I can give of the sensation is entering so much into role in a role play that you intuitively act as your character without being aware that you have made the choice to.

Apparently Charlotte walks, talks and acts differently to Lily. I was later described as feline and a little hard faced by the friends I was with whilst there as Charlotte. Charlotte apparently is more of an exhibitionist than me and was happy to freely strip down in a club - something I might do under a great deal of persuasion but certainly not willingly. Charlotte also liked to be spanked - to the degree that she repeatedly asked Marlowe to return to spanking her even when he had stopped (not very Lily - esque). I think the best moment of realising how much I had created Charlotte as a real entity was when I found Lily and her having a conversation whilst I had nipped to the loo. Quite bizarre but fascinating and strangely liberating.

I am finding it difficult to not sound like a bit of a loon as I write this - there is something about talking to yourself in the third person that makes you feel a little loopy - but Charlotte was to all intents and purposes a real person with her own dislikes and likes (including apparently a different taste in drinks from Lily). Discovering these aspects of me and these different personas is becoming a fascinating journey into my subconscious - I only wish I had the words to be able to describe it more effectively.