Whilst Lyra was still with us, I had jotted down several posts which I wanted some time to reflect on and which I wanted to post in an appropriate sequence. Having happened upon one of these earlier today, I decided that despite our relationship no longer occurring, the sentiments within this would be useful to me in the future and hopefully to other readers so please indulge me in this retrospective posting:
A few weeks in, I find myself struggling with a particular quandary. On one hand, both Marlowe and I wish to spend time with Lyra. As well as enjoying the sexual exploration, we are having a great deal of fun getting to know one another better and spending relaxation time together.
On the other hand, we have all of the normal day to day living things to do – house upkeep, gardening, shopping – all of the things we struggle to do during the week as we both work quite long hours.
This leads to a third problem. At the moment, there is a real risk that Marlowe and I only have time together when doing tedious chores; that all the “fun” is located in the time with Lyra. It reminds me a little of children spending time with their divorced parents – mum makes them do their homework whilst dad takes them to alton towers on a weekend. There is a real risk that Marlowe and I are “no fun anymore” on our own.....
In many ways, I enjoy the domestic times as they underline the strength of our relationship and our commitment to life together. However, Marlowe and I had a very active social and sexual life before we met Lyra which we now struggle to find time for. The main worry for me is that when Lyra moves on (she is such a wonderful loving person that we expect her to be loved by many and at some point fall in love for herself) which, while hopefully no time soon, will happen; will Marlowe and I have lost the ability to have fun?
After clubbing together this weekend, it has made me realise that we do need to prioritise some fun time together. However, I also want to spend lots of time with Lyra and introduce her to all of the wondrous things out there. Oh, and I do want my house to be liveable in. I suppose I really should carry on working as well.
Anyone have a time machine we can borrow?
Wednesday 4 August 2010
Sunday 1 August 2010
a deviation about a deviation
With all that has been happening for us over the past few weeks, I feel that my thoughts and feelings have been somewhat heavy. I have also, as marlowe commented, been experiencing much greater loss at the end of our relationship with Lyra than I expected.
I have however found the silver lining of polyamourous break - ups; consolation sex with someone who loves you and who knows your body intimately.
Needing to lose ourselves a bit, we took the advice of some fabulous friends and got into some role play.
I have always been a bit twitchy about role play as I have always been a bit squeamish about plotting and planning sex and play (probably back to my inherent britishness again). However, Marlowe and I sat down in a fit of over enthuasiasm and created a player character list of 10 scenarios, complete with costumes and names.
Obviously given that we have to do dull things like work, we have not quite made it through all of our scenarios - particularly as we have got stuck on a couple which have been great fun to explore.
Last week, I let C out of the box. A young girl who has decided to abandon her plan to marry well for the somewhat easier life of getting laid well and for money, C is setting up in business catering for a suitable sort of gentleman. Getting business up and running is a challenge, so she thought a website with decent photographs would help - enter from stage left J, a photographer who is reknowned for getting the best from his models. C has very little money, so an agreement with J that she would pay him in kind suited her just fine.
This seemed quite a simple scenario but it was much hotter and much dirtier than either of us envisaged. I am very jumpy about photographs normally as, being less than svelte, I tend to spend my whole time in front of a camera trying to suck in my tummy and hide multiple chins. However, in the guise of C, I revelled in the camera - posing for explicit and exposing photos with an enthusiasm that surprised me (and surprised Marlowe even more). We had an agenda of avoiding heavy spanking / BDSM as we were heading out to a spanking party the next night so that forced us to get in some ways more creative and interesting in our play.
Three hours later (how do you lose entire evenings to sex and play????) J and C left and Lily and Marlowe re-entered the world feeling lighter and more fun than they had in a while. We also felt reconnected with ourselves and our sex life, as well as feeling kinky in a broad sense of the term.
It also taught me something which has actually made me feel really enthusiastic about engaging in poly relationships in the future; this experience has made mine and Marlowe's relationship and attraction for one and another considerably stronger.
Oh, and before you ask the photos were all deleted rapidly. C might have kept them but Lily wasn't taking the chance that she might have had to look at them...
I have however found the silver lining of polyamourous break - ups; consolation sex with someone who loves you and who knows your body intimately.
Needing to lose ourselves a bit, we took the advice of some fabulous friends and got into some role play.
I have always been a bit twitchy about role play as I have always been a bit squeamish about plotting and planning sex and play (probably back to my inherent britishness again). However, Marlowe and I sat down in a fit of over enthuasiasm and created a player character list of 10 scenarios, complete with costumes and names.
Obviously given that we have to do dull things like work, we have not quite made it through all of our scenarios - particularly as we have got stuck on a couple which have been great fun to explore.
Last week, I let C out of the box. A young girl who has decided to abandon her plan to marry well for the somewhat easier life of getting laid well and for money, C is setting up in business catering for a suitable sort of gentleman. Getting business up and running is a challenge, so she thought a website with decent photographs would help - enter from stage left J, a photographer who is reknowned for getting the best from his models. C has very little money, so an agreement with J that she would pay him in kind suited her just fine.
This seemed quite a simple scenario but it was much hotter and much dirtier than either of us envisaged. I am very jumpy about photographs normally as, being less than svelte, I tend to spend my whole time in front of a camera trying to suck in my tummy and hide multiple chins. However, in the guise of C, I revelled in the camera - posing for explicit and exposing photos with an enthusiasm that surprised me (and surprised Marlowe even more). We had an agenda of avoiding heavy spanking / BDSM as we were heading out to a spanking party the next night so that forced us to get in some ways more creative and interesting in our play.
Three hours later (how do you lose entire evenings to sex and play????) J and C left and Lily and Marlowe re-entered the world feeling lighter and more fun than they had in a while. We also felt reconnected with ourselves and our sex life, as well as feeling kinky in a broad sense of the term.
It also taught me something which has actually made me feel really enthusiastic about engaging in poly relationships in the future; this experience has made mine and Marlowe's relationship and attraction for one and another considerably stronger.
Oh, and before you ask the photos were all deleted rapidly. C might have kept them but Lily wasn't taking the chance that she might have had to look at them...
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