Well, how does one live up to an introduction like that. I worry that the answer is probably poorly but as Marlowe comments, my low self esteem is legendary.
An introductory message feels important at this point as anyone who knows me knows that “the wife” probably conjures up an image that doesn’t fit me well. I am lily, a 33 year old professional woman who is a strange mix of gregarious and antisocial; innocent and deliciously filthy. Probably to Lyra’s great surprise, I was until I met Marlowe, very innocent. Oh don’t get me wrong, I had slept with plenty of people (or at least plenty of people for a nice middle class girl from a good family) but I had experienced a love life that would barely make a nun blush. I love Lyra’s shock at playing with toys – I hadn’t even played with a bit of food in the bedroom. Not even a bit of whipped cream in comedy. The kinkiest I got was once doing it on a washing machine (which is not for the faint hearted, particularly when your partner is 8 inches taller than you). How did I survive?
I have always been quite open minded about sex but had always been faintly ashamed of my libido. I had only really discussed my sex life with my male gay friend who I was fairly sure was in no position to make judgements. Discovering that there was a whole world of people out there who were like me and a whole load of new ways of enjoying sensuality and pleasure was like stepping through the mirror into another world. Lyra, I envy you – you have so much fun to come.
I am also lucky in that I got the chance to explore my sexuality with someone who loved me and who I loved dearly (I am aware that if I compliment Marlowe too much throughout this blog he will blush and hide but I am determined he will realise that he is fabulous in all ways so I shall not pander to his coyness too much). I am also lucky in that I got a chance to be gently lead through this process of discovery – I had been very hurt before (I fear this may come up again) and could have been very vulnerable to the unscrupulous. That in part is why I am so delighted that I get to be a part of Lyra’s discovery. I hope that we can be a part of helping her to transverse the potential pitfalls of the world of kink without overly shaping her journey – put simply, I hope I get to help Lyra in the way that I was helped.
Despite being open minded, playing with others had really only been a bit of a fantasy. Marlowe and I had speculated on playing with others and had talked a little about the fact that I would not be comfortable with another man as a regular play partner (though I have very much learned to never say never on my exploration of kink) but I don’t think that either of us had taken the idea seriously – it had more been a feature of post coital idle speculation.
That’s why I was surprised as Lyra and Marlowe when things happened as they did. I knew Marlowe had emailed (though he had never told me it was blank he sent!!!) and was going to ask Lyra the question but I didn’t quite expect to end up here.....
My part in this blogging is probably (knowing me) going to be less than that of the others. I would like to claim that this is because I will be percolating profound thoughts around in my head until I have a posting worth merit but in reality it will be because I am lazy and rubbish at electronic communications.
I also think that my role in all of this will be quite different from the others. I have come to terms with my kink side and I am at a place at the moment where I don’t want to think too hard about what I get from it as it might just put me off (over analysing has its pitfalls). I may therefore have less to offer with regards to that topic, though I expect that Lyra’s experiences may well parallel some I went through less than 5 years ago. My place in this blog I think will be to reflect on what it feels like to be along for this ride and to experience a relationship which is so different from what I have always known and considered to be normal. I expect that I will struggle along the way with the challenges of extending out the boundaries of a very close and intimate relationship, both in and out of the bedroom and in and out of kink, to accommodate a third person. All I can say is I am very lucky that the third person is so wonderful and so easy to care for
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